Is that a baton in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

Scotsman - A waste of police time and money as Sgt Eros is cleared
A male stripper accused of possessing offensive weapons while he "masqueraded" as a policeman was dramatically cleared of the charges against him yesterday. Grampian Police and prosecutors had alleged Mr Kennedy - who has spent 41 hours in police custody and appeared in court eight times in connection with the matter - was guilty of offensive weapons charges. This was because his act involved having two police-style batons and an unidentified spray. He was arrested on 17 March outside Aberdeen's Paramount Bar after he has spotted in the street by two female police officers as he was about to do his act. He was wearing a police uniform and utility belt, which contained the batons.
Impersonating a police officer? Big clue coming up...he had the word STRIPPER and a picture of a naked man on the back of his vest for fuck's sake!  Still, it got the two policewomen off the streets of Aberdeen for a few hours and back to the cosy safety of the nick. Morons!