I'd wondered what happened to Mark Fowler

Comment is free: Designer vaginas, anyone?

Once you've had your breasts enhanced, your thighs sucked thin, your skin stretched taught over your cheekbones, and your lips pumped full of cow's tissue, what better way to finish off that perfect Barbie doll look than to have your genitals surgically remodelled and your pubic area waxed smooth? And if you're worried that your partner might be tempted to stray because you've had a couple of kids and things have started to sag a bit, what better way to guarantee his fidelity than to transform yourself into a porn queen lookalike with the fanny of a pre-pubescent girl?

Well I've had six kids and, yes, things have been drooping for quite a while now but even at the risk of a straying partner I'm certainly not shelling out for plastic surgery to provide me with a minor's minge. For one thing, where would I put it?